How To Speak So Your Children Will Listen

Speak so your children will listen. Is that something you want to happen? An escalated voice in the direction of a child is an indication of disobedience.  How many times have you asked one of your children to grab something for you and when they don’t respond…..your voice gets louder?

Mine does more often than I like.

So many times I feel like I am yelling when all I really have is a simple request.  As with many of us, I am a work in progress. My parents were yellers, so I am a yeller. But my kids respond like I did. People in general do not like to be yelled or spoken to in a loud manner.

My goal is to start speaking more softly. I want my children to listen the first time that I speak. Many people will remind our younger generation that it wasn’t too long ago that parents did not repeat themselves, nor did they count further than 1. It took me awhile to get to that concept.

It is true, we should not count to 3, children need to listen the first time so that they get the directions you are asking them to follow. This will take a lot of training. Discipline and work on the parents part.

 Training Children To Listen The First Time

1. Speak softly so that they are working harder to hear your voice. If parent speak in a loud offensive manner, children  as well adults find yelling annoying.
2. Walk over to them when you make a request. Gently have them hold your hand so you know their attention is on you.
3. Don’t repeat yourself. At all. Stay calm and don’t elevate your voice if you do have to repeat what you asked.
4. Don’t use a lot of words to get your point across. Be specific, respectful, and ask them to repeat to you what was said.
5. Allow them the chance to cooperate or engage in a conversation about the behavior.

Good Parenting Starts By Being A Good Example

A common saying is “actions speak louder than words”. Try to model the behavior that you want while driving with the kids, eating in a restaurant, or dealing with spouses or other family members.

Showing children how to be obedient is important. Try to show them how to listen to the requests of others’ without yelling, or ignoring what they are asking. Spouses for example…if they want something try to grant their request without opposition. Then ask them to do the same.

Training comes in more than one form. In my opinion I think modeling the behavior we want from our children is the most important aspect of training.

I would love to hear any thoughts you have on this subject.

Cheers,

Michelle